My Personal Lesson in Self-Love and Acceptance
Recently, my very talented sister, Nicole Romanoff, asked me to pose for a Mother’s Day session. Like anyone, I thought what a great opportunity! So, on Easter Sunday I wrangled my kids, and Dave, made our way downtown and hit a pose for 30 minutes. I didn’t think about it much afterwards, but a few days later she tagged me in an Instagram story with a sneak peek.
My first reaction? My lips are too pale. I have circles under my eyes. My part is crooked. Are those my shoulders?
Others’ reactions? “Wow!” “Gorgeous!” One friend actually reached out and said she thought it was the best photo she’d ever seen of me.
This lead me to ask:
Why are we our own worst critic?
At first glance all I saw were flaws. I was horribly judgemental on myself. The lovely comments I received amazed me. And got me thinking…
What deep-rooted conditioning is literally holding me (us) back from unconditional self-love?
That’s a loaded question, but an important one, too. Without question I love my two girls, unconditionally. But do I love myself unconditionally?
Apparently, not (yet).
I was very quick to judge how I looked. Even writing these words are painful, because I hate to admit that they’re true. As Brene Brown has said, “we armour up”. We protect something that doesn’t even exist. We act or pretend that we have it all together, but really we are chronically judging, instead of just loving ourselves, and each other.
It’s time to consciously operate with a soft front and a hard back. Embrace imperfections as unique attributes. Give ourselves space and grace to be who and what we are.
We all have confidence to gain and judgement to release.
I’ve studied a program for many months now called “The New Lead the Field”. It was originally developed by Earl Nightingale and re-produced and adapted by Bob Proctor. There is a lesson discussing this topic and Bob, explains:
“I’m not who I think I am. I’m not who you think I am. I am, who I think you think I am.”
I’d read that a couple of times. It’s a mouthful!
How I understand this statement is if we look at ourselves from another person’s perspective we’ll find a closer version of the truth of who we really are. In this case, I needed the truth reflected back to me. I needed to zoom out and not focus on details that don’t matter and take a step forward into acceptance and self-love.
My greatest takeaway from this experience?
Self-confidence begins from within. In this instance, my inside needed to catch up with my outside. People saw something I had yet to see in myself and I thank them for the beautiful comments, encouragement, and love. Through this process, I can now honestly say this is a beautiful photo. Just as it is. No edits. No photoshopping. Just as I was that day.
No bad can come from sharing joy and positivity with people. A simple, authentic, and genuine comment can give so much to someone. Imagine how destructive the opposite is. That’s a truth that needs our awareness and attention.
Before we part I want to leave you with this quote:
“We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Do yourself the best favour you can and love yourself, unconditionally.